Buenos Ay-ya-ya-res

Again, this post is long overdue.  Pardon me.

My buddy Tennessee heard of a religious theme park in Buenos Aires and of course our interest was peaked.  We decided to go on a Saturday because his roommate, Joe, who I call Ruben (long story), works during the week.  Turns out the park is not open on weekdays anyway (maybe??), so it all worked out for the best.  Our friend, Jena, met us at the door.

To start, I have to say that we were going to this park ironically.  But we were the only ones.  Thus, we tried to be as respectful as possible.  Don’t worry, Mom, I did not shame our family.  I kept my cynicism on the inside. 

We started by trekking up this giant fake mountain.  We saw the crusificion of Jesus and continued up the stairs.  We got to the top and looked down at an ampitheater full of people.  All of a sudden, a 6-story Jesus came out of the mountain we were climbing! They resurrect Christ on the hour every hour!  He was huge, he had awesome theme music, who wouldn’t bounce around excited?

But contrary to what I assumed, La Tierra Santa is not just a Christian theme park, it includes many many religions.  We spent a lot of time in the muslim section, eating at El Café Bagdad some empanadas arabes (Arabian empanadas).  They were great!

I made Ruben, Tennessee and Jena pose with many of the statues in the park.  We also went through the Jewish section (for those of you who remember my story about walking through Once with Ari Heckman asking people where the frontier of the Jewish sector was, well, you can sleep comfortably knowing we found it in La Tierra Santa).  There was a fake Wailing Wall and a sign that said any notes would be brought to the real Wailing Wall in Jerusalem.

The most interesting thing about this place, though, is how it came to be.  A few years ago, the government wanted to develop the large piece of land on which it resides.  They asked for bids and different organizations started proposing projects and bidding on the land.  Out of nowhere, the whole bidding process ended and a worker’s union (not sure which one) just got the land.  I think there was a bit of confusion as to why they got it outright.  And they turned the land into a religious theme park and it is has been WILDLY SUCCESSFUL.  If you think about it, can you think of another religious theme park anywhere else in the world?  Sure, religious tourist attractions, but generally those are sites where something happened first–they were not stetches of undeveloped land by the airport.

I was a bit disappointed that this theme park didn’t have any rides.  I was kinda hoping for a Noah’s Upside Down Ark or a Jesus’s Wild Coaster or something like that.  But the photo opportunities were not exhausted in my one visit.  I will be bringing many visitors back to La Tierra Santa.  Just one more reason you all should come visit me.

P.S.  I hope I did not offend anyone with this post.  You have to admit that there is something hilarious about a religious theme park, no matter how religious you are.

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